Katy Perry and Russell Brand recently had their wedding, but whilst this occasion is taking place it gets gate crashed by a tiger. Although after the wedding Russell buys Katy a tiger which was quite a bit of money but then Katy took the tiger and left it at the tiger park and gave the centre park the money to use for the tigers. The couple wanted to sell the wedding pictures but have been told it’s not going to happen. Russell wanted to keep their wedding between him, Katy, friends and family. The pair was still celebrating their union, as Katy turned 26. As well as the tiger, Russell was also said to have given Katy a ruby ring which is said to possess ‘protective powers’. They were also told by a fortune-telling parrot that both bride and groom would live long life, long marriage and long successful careers.
AO1 - PASS
ReplyDeleteYou have shown that you can write an article to a given length which is a very important skill to have if you are working in a magazine.
To improve this piece of writing, you need to make sure that each individual idea you discuss is a separate paragraph. Think carefully what it is you want your article to be about.
Rather than a string of random things that happened at the wedding, consider how you will inform the reader from beginning to end.
You could easily just focus on the tiger gate crashing the wedding and Russell buying the tiger for Katy. That will easily get you to 150 words.
Good effort so far though.
Mr Monahan